How many of us have found ourselves involved in what seems to be a neverending arguement? Or the same arguement for the umpteenth time? Yelling, screaming, and tears usually ending with one partner giving in simply to end what feels like torture.
One simple sentence can put an end to this destructive behavior that most couples experience with some regularity:
"I will take what you are saying into consideration and give it some thought and get back to you tomorrow."
Naturally, there has to be a sincere willingness to do what you are saying. What is the best way to go about it?
1) Take some time to cool down and let the neo cortex(adult thinking) part of your brain kick into gear.
2) Ask yourself honestly if what your partner is saying has any validity. Even if there is only part of what has been said that you can see; acknowlege to yourself what legitimate points he/she has made.
3) Try to think out of the box. Are there options that you have not considered?
4) Remember this is your life partner for whom you often have loving feelings.
5) Make sure that you get back to your partner the next day whether it seems to be the right time or not. Share what you have come up with and ask your partner to not respond until she/he has given some consideration to what you have presented and get back to you the next day.
Obviously, this slows down the interactive process and gives each partner a chance to think more clearly. While this may not solve your differences, it will give you a better chance for resolution because each person has time to deal with his/her own anger and respond with more thoughtful and loving responses.