Sunday, June 19, 2011

Relationship Tip of the Week #75-Gender Differences-Part 2

As a woman, have you observed your partner's eyes glaze over only three or four minutes into a conversation in which you are trying to share something that has happened in your day or attempting to discuss a misunderstanding you are having in your relationship? As a man, do you hear yourself say in your mind,"Oh no, here she goes again" as your partner begins to talk.

The need to talk and the abilitiy to listen are areas in which gender differences seem to cause many clashes and frustation for both partners. Men want to get to the point. Women want to share the details of their lives. Men feel overwhelmed with too much information. Women feel more connected as they have a better picture of an event or experience.

So who is right? How can this struggle be solved?

As in most differences that exist in a couple, both are right for him/herself but wrong for the other. A compromise is best and is what is right for the couple.

Both need to stretch and grow themselves to show their understanding of their partner's needs.

Women have to appreciate that men are not personally rejecting them when they have trouble listening. Men have to appreciate that women are attempting to share their lives and the details with them and this is the way that they feel connected. If a woman approaches a man, she might give him the benefit of the doubt by starting softly and saying,"I know that this may be difficult to listen to but it is really important to me that i share this with you and i will keep it to five-ten minutes as i know that it can be challenging to listen for a longer period." A man can make a greater attempt to stay focused, knowing his wife will keep the sharing to a limited time period or say that he knows that what she is saying is important and if his attention starts to fade he will ask her to stop and then finish a little later on in the day.

More on gender differences in two weeks when i return from vacation

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Relationship Tip of the Week #74-Gender Differences-Part 1

Watch any stand up comic and eventually there will be a portion of the routine devoted to relationships and gender differences. If you haven't read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". you most likely have heard a reference to it and nodded your head in agreement with a comment on the struggle between men and women. How many times have you found yourself talking with a friend of the same sex about your partners and laughing or crying about living with someone of the opposite sex and how they think or act?

Why is it so difficult and challenging to bridge the gap that exists between the opposite sexes?
Why can't we just agree to disagree on some thiings and not fight about others?
Why does it feel like such a battle to pick a movie or what time of the day to make love?

Over the next several weeks, i will be writing about some obvious differences and some that are more subtle.
I would also be interested in getting feedback from those of you who read my blog regarding what you experience as the greatest challenges you face in your relationship with respect to gender.
please e-mail me at