Sunday, July 29, 2012

Relationship of the Week #93-The Challenge of Caring-part 1

Does your partner feel cared for by you?

Do you know what your partner considers caring?

What makes you feel cared about?

Have you shared with your parner the specific behaviors which create that feeling for you and been rebuffed?

The issue of caring for one's partner can be challenging since each individual experiences acts of caring in a unique way. What may be crucial for one person may be meaningless or even hurtful for another. Over the next six weeks i will be exploring different facets of caring.

Today, i encourage you to approach your partner with this seemingly simple question:

Do you feel cared for by me today? If your partner says yes, follow up with;

"What did i do or say that has given you that feeling? This is very valuable information if you want to be a caring spouse.

If your partner says "no"; take a deep breath and ask: What can I do right now that would give you that feeling?"

While this might seem easy, most people are frightened to ask this question because the answer might be a negative one. Try to keep in mind that this is information which will help you to know your partner in a deeper way. Whatever your partner says, take a deep breath and if you can do or say what she/he asks, of course, do it. If you need some time to process the information, say that you will take some time to consider what has been shared and will try to act in the future to be responsive to your partner's needs.

Next week: What to do when you do not feel cared for by your partner?