Saturday, January 28, 2012

Relationship Tip of the Week #88-"I love you but i am not in love-Part 2

In my last post, i described how we "fall out of love" with our partner and the symptom of no longer "being in love" with him or her.

Is it possible to get that feeling back after losing it?

I believe that it is but that both partners must be willing to work at it and confront some painful truths.

First, there has to be a willingness to share the hurts and disappointments that each have experienced over the years and a commitment to address them in a non-defensive way.

Second, each has to be ready to bring positive energy and an openness to one an other's needs.

Third, if there are any addictions that have developed, they must be addressed.

Fourth, the couple must make a significant effort to spend quality time together and bring an attitude of fun to the experiences they share

Fifth, each must express an interest in one an other's life(work, parenting hobbies) apart from the couple.

Sixth, hold an honest discussion of your physical connection and commit to explore your needs for affection and sexual intimacy.

Seventh, each must make time together a top priority despite the demands of today's busy society.

If this sounds a lot like what happens when most couples meet and fall in love-of course it is- except for number one as the couple has not experienced the challenges and differences that surface in a living relationship.

While you can never get back the feelings of infatuation and newness of a relationship that has just started, you can feel deeply connected and a joy at being together with someone that truly knows and cares about you.