What is a true compromise? Many of my clients will often say that they are the one doing all the compromising in the relationship. I tell them that there is a difference between compromising and giving in. If you are the only one doing all of the compromising than you are giving in.
A real compromise is when both parties agree to move their position towards their partner's and both partners get some of what they want and give up or do something that they did not want to. A true compromise leave both partners somewhat satisfied and somewhat dissatisfied as it is done in the service of the couple and not the individual. Of course, when the couple benefits and becomes strenthened, the individuals also gain from being a member of a unit that works together and attempts to avoid power struggles.
I will be blogging more about compromise in the next few weeks as i turn my attention to the difference between solvable and unsolvable problems and how to work with them.