Sunday, September 25, 2011

Relationship Tip of the Week #79- The Conversation-Part 3

So when should you hold the conversation? This is a double edged sword, as there never seems to be a "right time". If you are getting along and enjoying each other, why ruin the day. If you are bickering or arguing, a talk will only make it worse. On top of that many men have the belief; "If ain't broke don't fix it". Thus, if their wife is not complaining, they will rarely start a conversation to explore how their partner is feeling about the relationship.

Obviously, like going to the gym or doing anything which is difficult, you must make a commitment to follow through on a regualr basis despite your feelings at the moment. Set a day and time that works for both partners. Right before bed is rarely a good time as a challenging topic can cause a sleepless night. Early in the morning only works if both are early risers. Negotiate a time and then agree to try it for a month and evaluate if it is working after 4 talks. If it is not, try a new time for a month.

While it is important to be flexible if something comes up to prevent the conversation from being held at the agreed upon time, a substitute time should be agreed upon at that point, otherwise, another week may easily pass without talking about one another's concerns.

If one partner appears to be resistant to holding the conversation, it is important that the other partner be encouraging and supportive to moving forward rather than critical, angry or pointing out that this means there is no love or caring.

Next Week: Attitude Is Everything

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